Frustration

Frustration is to be stuck inside when you know that the sun is shining and other people are outside enjoying the first glimpses of summer. To be working on something that you don’t really understand, but have to convey the impression that you do. Frustration is to be staring at the screen all day, knowing that you could have finished already if you only had the self-control to stop watching YouTube videos and constantly updating Facebook. Frustration is to have that feeling of complete and utter sick-of-this-shit, only to realize that you still have three more exams after you hand in this. Frustration is knowing that your summer vacation is still almost two weeks away, while other people are already free to spend their days doing whatever they want. Frustration is in the feeling of frustration, which you are fully aware will only lead to more frustration and negative energy. Frustration is knowing that you have the power to stop the negative energy, but keep giving in to it.

I really wish the cosmic tempers could accommodate my own tempers and be miserable and rainy until 1 pm on June 8.

Pronunciation is a bitch

English is Tough Stuff (A.K.A. “The Chaos”)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation — think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough –
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!

 

by G. Nolst (found here)

Hipp Hipp Hurra!

Three times “Hipp hipp hurra!” for Norway today, on the 17th of May, our Constitution Day!

There are few nations who celebrate their National Day like us Norwegians: we wear beautiful and expensive national costumes, eat lots of ice cream, hot dogs and smoked meats, walk in parades, play in marching bands, drink sparkling wine for breakfast, and play games and skits with our friends and communities.

A typical May 17 when I was growing up might be:
Get up with a bang at 7 am, as the dynamite salute is heard all over the village. Eat a quick breakfast and get dressed with the rest of the family. Play the national anthem as they raise the flag at the village school at 8 am. Get in the back of a truck with the rest of the brass band, where we play a few marches and national anthems as we drive around to different places in the village. A couple of hours later, we head back home to eat some more food (traditionally a “sour cream porridge” (rømmegraut) with various smoked meats) and get dressed for the festivities. I’d join the rest of the band for a small parade (with a village of around 150 people, it’s not that long), after which we’d assemble for some speeches and singing of more national anthems and psalms. There’d be  games for both children and adults after that, with little prizes, and lots and lots of cake, coffee, ice cream, hot dogs and porridge for sale. After a couple of hours with kids running around on sugar highs and adults trying to keep conversations going between mouthfuls of cake and coffee, we’d assemble once more for some self-provided entertainment: skits and games put on by a small 17 May-committee (Norwegians love their committees!). More prizes, more sugar to keep the kids going. After this, around 7-8 pm, people would head home, possibly for more cake, or at least more running around on the kids’ part.

This would happen pretty much no matter the weather. Norwegians, especially on the west coast, are used to all kind of rainy and stormy weather. Today was no different, even though I was in Trondheim for this one – it has been raining all day. When I got up around 7.30 am, it was raining. When I went to catch the bus around 8.30, to get to breakfast, it was still raining. When I was walking in the big parade at 1 pm (just a liiiittle bit bigger than my village’s), it was raining. And finally, when I bussed home, it was raining. I was originally planning to barbecue and hang out with some friends tonight, but stayed home celebrating in my pajamas instead. This is what happens when you celebrate May 17 when you’re a student – you’re either take the day off from studying but are too exhausted from all the other days of studying, that you end up going to bed at 9.30 pm, or you just don’t take a break at all and stay inside studying all day.

I went to a champagne breakfast hosted by a girl in my choir, before I walked in the big parade with the whole choir. As it was raining, but I was wearing my bunad (national costume), I was not wearing a coat. Instead, I held an umbrella to cover most of me, while my flag-holding hand got soaked through. The people watching the parade weren’t the happiest people I’ve ever seen, but the day was festive nonetheless. It’s nice to see all the different bunads and other dressed up people. I don’t usually put up pictures of myself, but here is one of me (slightly damp) when I got home this afternoon. You can see the top half of my bunad:

So I’m already soaking my shit for stains and plan to have it ready for when I need it next, probably for my nephew’s baptism. We use it for festive occasions like baptisms, weddings and May 17. It is also approved as formal wear, so if I ever end up being invited to a royal ball or something, I might wear this. I inherited from my grandmother, so practically every piece of it is third generation.

Here’s also a glint of the children’s parade in Trondheim today, where you can see more umbrellas than anything else…

And finally, the Norwegian national anthem, in a new and untraditional version. There are many great Norwegian traditional and national songs, but hearing the anthem really does make me very proud to be Norwegian!

First World Problems

As I go through my daily life, I keep running into variously sized snafus and irritations. You all know what I’m talking about, the little things that make you want to hit things, run your head into a wall or just rant excessively to your friends (or anyone else in the immediate area). Then I started thinking about how many of these problems are actually completely manageable and just extremely stupid. On a large scale, these small problems are completely irrelevant and should not even be worth our attention. But they are nonetheless, and thus my own list of frequent First World Problems appears. There are many, many more, but these are some of my own most annoying ones.

People who don’t move to the back of the bus
You’re on a crowded bus, it’s rush hour and everyone seems to be going home from school and work at the same time. People who take the bus frequently should be aware of this fact, and try to accommodate each other as best they can. Yet some people don’t understand that, if the bus is filling up and people are standing inappropriately close to each other, it is okay to sit down on that vacant seat (even if there is a stranger on the seat next to it), and it is okay to move into the back aisle and stand there as well. And if by some reason people are not smart enough to figure that out by themselves, the bus driver telling them to move back over the speaker system, should tip them off. Really, it should. But it doesn’t, and so you’re either left feeling sorry for the crowded, standing people from your seat, or you’re feeling sorry for yourself as one of the standing, crowded people (but are yourself in a position that does not enable you to move further back, or you would).

Toilet paper
This is one of the big ones. I think I have yet to find a public washroom with a perfectly controllable toilet paper roll – either it gets stuck all the time, rolls too fast, or it’s one of those one-sheet-at-the-time thingys. The end always seems to have disappeared, and it takes at least ten tries to find it. And more often than you want, there is no toilet paper left, and no spare to be found. That’s also fun. And since public washrooms is something that can’t really be avoided (i.e. long days studying at school), this is a frequent irritation.

Colds
They always come when you least need them to, and they keep you sniffling for weeks. They cost you money (nasal spray, Kleenex, etc), and they make you gain weight (eating unhealthily, not being able to get to the gym). They’re usually not big deals, but have the ability to make you feel as if you’re going to die. And did I mention that they always come when you least need them to? (read: exam period)

Pantyhose
A girl problem, sure, but a problem nonetheless. They get stuck on things, and get runs, always in the most inconvenient (and visible) places. The hold-in ones either roll down at the stomach, thus removing the hold-in effect, or they’re too tight, making it impossible to do anything but sit and smile while you’re wearing them. They’re always sliding down, so you’re left doing *this*  (you can all picture it) all night long, ruining the effect you wanted in the first place: elegant, pretty and flawless.

Busty Girl Problems
Not one of my biggest problems in general, but this blog has some excellent points. The comics especially are good! Seriously, though, well-fitting button-down shirts are one of the hardest things to find.

Word Counts
A problem familiar to all students across the globe, as shown in countless Facebook updates in the style of “100/1200: FML”. There is nothing worse than writing an assignment while constantly keeping half an eye on the word count in the bottom. So unmotivating, yet motivating. I’ve gotten to hiding the word count while I write, making it more fun when I actually check and realize that the number’s actually gone down.

Aerobic Noobs
I go to aerobics classes at least a couple of times a week, and almost every time there is someone who lacks the “aerobic common courtesy”. In the crowded halls, people will come in late and stand in the back, even though there’s much more room in the front. I’m all for ignoring other people during aerobics class, in sense that you focus on what you’re doing instead of comparing yourself to others, but you can still glance around from time to time and make sure you’re not hitting someone or walking into them. Really, it’s not that hard. Nor is it okay to come in with your girlfriends and laugh loudly. Yes, you should have fun and enjoy your workout, but by laughing loudly you make insecure girls (which there are a lot of in aerobics classes) feel like you’re laughing at them. Not cool.

Ex.Phil.
This dreaded subject that every university student in Norway going for a degree has to take. Studying (mostly) dead philosophers who said stuff like “everything is made from water” feel super relevant to just about any university degree, science or humanities. I’m guessing, however, that most of the science people can see some relevance in studying Newton’s rules and Darwin’s evolution theory, while I, the language student, don’t really see the point. But alas, that is what I’m left spending precious reading time on.

Slow computers and/or internet connections
Are the worst! Trying to look things up online with a mindnumbingly slow connection is enough to make anyone give up on life. Similarly, slow computers make you want to give up on technology and go live in a secluded cave. You might as well, since Word documents are taking five minutes just to open. This also seems to happen when you’re pressed for time in some way or another, making you even more impatient.

Slow walkers
People who know me, know that I have a pretty brisk walking pace. I can’t help it, I naturally walk fast and have to concentrate to walk slow. So I hate walking in crowds, like airports and busy malls, where it seems like everyone is always in the way. And it’s one thing to walk slowly, but some people just stand there. How about standing to the side, buddy, so people can pass you? Or just, you know, not walk three people in a line, so people like me can actually get by you if they want. You don’t own the sidewalk! And I know it’s just not me, because I have on occasion found myself walking beside someone at the same pace as me.

 

So these are some of the problems I’ve come up with lately, although I know there are sooo many more. So if you or any of my other two readers feels like adding to the list, please do so in the comments. It really helps to rant about it! Really

Who’s a proud Auntie?

I AM!

Yesterday, Sunday 29 April, my wonderful little nephew Balder was born, measuring 4590 grams and 53 cm, 11 days overdue. He’s the first grandchild on either side, and I am positive he will be spoiled so badly in the coming years.

I spent the weekend with my choir Cantus, performing on the west coast of Norway. Before our last concert yesterday, my mother called me to tell me that Balder was born, and I actually teared up. I was having such a good time with the girls, and then this just made the day all that much better!

So today, instead of going straight back to Trondheim with Cantus, I went to Molde instead (1,5 hours by bus Ålesund-Molde), visited the proud parents Daniel and Kristine, and the gorgeous, still-pruney baby, before I bused back to Trondheim (5 hours). A long day, but totally worth it so get to hold that incredible bundle in my arms for a little while.

I can’t wait to see him again, and get to know him. I’m so proud, and will be showing people pictures for as long as they can stand it.

I love my new title: Tante Maria